Dear Friends and Family,
Thank you for joining me here tonight to envelop your life in a world of fantasy.
For one night only we can return form the abysmal tragedy of trashy television and sleazy movies.
We are allowed to fall into a world of class and cinematic genius.
People who actually have talent gaining their worth while recognition.
Here it to The Hurt Locker that should have let Avatar win a few awards
and to the obscure Shorts categories,
which that Academy just couldn't seem to agree with me on the winner.
Here is to the stunning women in beautiful gowns — Miley Cyrus and Kristen Stewart.
To sexy men — Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner and Sam Worthington.
You've made my night with your black tuxedos and skinny ties.
Here is to the day that we no longer simply view this inglorious event from a cozy couch with great food served every five minutes and champagne.
But right in the midst of all the glam and splendor
when James Cameron figures out how to broadcast the awards in 3D.
Thank you and goodnight!
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